Live Tweeting the iPhone 11 Event, 10 September 2019
(Start to finish, and adjusted for clarity, links and pics added for fun.)
Once again, an Apple announcement comes and goes without them telling everyone I get everything for free forever. Dunno how they live with themselves.
Anyway....
So I guess Tim doesn’t drop his patented “Best fucking iPhone ever made!” 
Really nice opening video. I’m not sure the TV remote qualifies as a “wonderful tool”, tho.
I like the first lady’s extra enthusiastic mouth movements.
Actually, maybe it’s not just her. The audio is unsynched, so everyone kinda looks like their mouths are performing much more energetic tasks.
Frogger’s all, “Fuck you Crossy Road.”
I’m not a gamer. These games just don’t appeal to me at all.
crowd sighs in disappointment
The girl is chasing down her “heart”.
Goodbye feminism! It was nice knowing you!
Sayonara Wild Hearts was a great ‘80s album, tho.
“We’ll be releasing more of these launch titles in the weeks ahead.”
The 19th [launch day] is 9 days away (as of the event). WTH?
For All Mankind was totally made for me. I super hope it doesn’t suck.
I don’t even mind that they stole the doc’s title.
Entertainment Weekly still exists.
How fitting is it that Entertainment Weekly's URL is ew.com? It does give one a nice icky feeling.
Regarding the upcoming TV+ show See:
For a guy who can’t see, he walked straight to that pole....
These kids are gonna fuck with so many of these people. They’re gonna be aaaaaassholes.
If the kids are the only people who can see, how on earth would they learn to read?
Especially existing texts.
I’ma hate that show. I’ma watch it. But I’ma hate it....
RE: TV+’s release date: November 1st?! WTF?
$4.99 a good deal tho. I’d pay that for just For All Mankind.
Whoa - the free year. Awesome.
That’s a good deal.
Better, if it continues to apply to future purchases. Buy an iPhone every year, never pay for the service.
I dunno - Touch ID iPads still?
The hands almost grabbed Jos!
Horrid camera angle I hope they don’t rep—
Stop showing that angle!
Re: The letters to Apple re: the Watch's health features: Dear Tim Apple....
Re: the woman’s absolute dickhead husband in the Watch health-messages ad: Omigod this woman’s husband. What an absolute dickhead.
This woman’s [a presenter] wearing bell bottoms.
“Yeah, what d’you have in a pant that’ll make my ankles look really fat?”
That onscreen watch arrangement created a negative space matrix that fucked with my brain.
Whoa. An always-on display.
Huh.
The compass app.
Need.
He pronounced “button” really weirdly.
“BUDD’n”, with a hard emphasis on the first syllable.
WTF?
Ceramic again. Good. I’ll never afford it, but I’m glad it returns.
What’s the Gortex coat-looking band? Whatever it is, that yellow sure ain’t go with the white ceramic watch.
The leather loop.
Gotta say, tho: this was a bad take. Looking at it on the website… I kinda like the color combination? The band is ugly - like those Bibendum Winter coats that Uniqlo sells. But the colors don’t clash as badly in this picture as on the event screen.
RE: the Watch-play-Elton-John ad:
HOW DID THEY NOT GET ELTON JOHN FOR A CAMEO?
Huge missed opportunity....
iPhone: 47 minutes in.
The cameras have bumps within bumps?
Just make the phone thicker?
Or maybe the base just bulges up to the surface level of the glass. I can’t tell.
These people need wide angle lenses a lot more often than I do....
The “telephoto” is gone? Well, boo.
I use that fucker all. the. time. Great way to cut out city clutter.
That dog’s a good boy, you can just tell.
47/10.
Why is Night Mode something you have to turn on? Off, I understand. Will normal people even know to use it?
(According to @reneritchie's Vector video, it's on automatically. If so, they did not convey this adequately onstage.)
Okay ultra-wide video is a nice gain.
It’s weird that I’m disappointed by the lack of a third lens - unless that’s coming in the maybe-Pros.
I just realized it probably is.
Everyone should rotate their phone. Nice to see someone provide a reason for doing so. Since having eyes on a horizontal plane doesn’t seem to be enough for people.
Aaaaand then the ad shows someone doing it wrong sigh.
Ben Thompson call-out.
Another game demo.
Because god hates me.
Had to take a break to charge my AirPods. Think I’ll let this demo play silently as I wait....
Back to it.
The LipBalm was in ChapStick’s style. How much could the licensing have been? You can get two of the tubes for like $3.
Okay - the three lenses look like an old speaker box. I don’t hate it!
Phil! I heart him.
Midnight green.
Ew?
Re: Apple's X-pronunciation inconsistency: 10DR Display.
Phil has pronounced this guy’s name no more than 3 times in his life. Really worked for it.
I’m aware this is too many tweets.
This guy has the RFK, Jr voice disorder. Or sounds like it.
I love a bionic chip. Delicious.
Neat ass-power savings.
I love the adjective “performant”. I only ever hear it in Events.
They did the “Pro Max” thing. Sounds like a laxative.
Still can’t tell if that’s a bump on a bump.
I could look at Apple.com, but I’m watching this thing.
I gotta meet a bunch of pro photogs then try to hang out with them in August.
I want Phil to tell people about the stuff I do.
“He disappoints like no one before!”
Wanted that guy to kick that can (which I initially thought was his shoe) again so I could say:
That guy is kicking that can all over the place.
Alas....
I love the care Apple takes. Matching the lenses pre-install. Sweet attention to detail.
It’s a bump on a bump, right? SHOW A SIDE SHOT!
I was using Filmic Pro back when you people were out having lives.
Re: a shaved-headed lady: Sinead O’Connor!
Oh, nevermind.
Re: Filmic Pro’s ability to record multiple video files. Using two cameras at once. Fuck. That’s incredible.
Using two cameras at once. Fuck. That’s incredible.
Re: Filmic Pro’s ability to shoot simultaneously in both directions: Broadcast News was just ruined for generations to come.
I hope someone gets that.
Okay - based on the lack of clear shots, it’s gotta be a bump on a bump.
Re: my unstated prediction was something on the order of $1500 for the Pro Max; $1300 for the Pro: Substantially cheaper than I expected!
By several hundred dollars.
No foolies.
I’m actually shocked by the prices.
Maybe it’s not bumps on a bump?
Christ.
I’ve been in this Starbucks so long.
Lady at the end is wearing the ceramic.
Nice.
Ooh! You can select the watch/band combo. Nice touch!
Tim Apple just pronounced it “EK-specially”.
Is that a thing he does, or did he just stumble in public? Anyway, he was well-cast; I’m glad he’s in this role.