Bumbling and fumbling
Back when blogging first started, someone pointed out that inane shit (a day's anecdote, say) often made for more-interesting reading that did fully formed essays and such. In that vein, here's one of mine, about a day 19 years ago, that I enjoyed reading again because, inane as it was, it shows an eye-blink of my life I'd forgotten and I'm glad I took the time to write up:
I went to Oblation [...], but they were closed, which provided me a lovely trying-to-open-a-clearly-locked-door idiot moment. There's a sign, a good-size sign, that reads "The door sticks. Push hard" (or something close to that) near the painted-on store hours. After giving the door a good damned try three or four times, I noticed a small pink sign down in the corner of the door's window that said, "We will be closed January 11th for inventory." I walked away in embarrassed shame.
I also went to the post office to mail [a previiously-purchased gift for my aunt and uncle who'd just had triplets]. As I was standing in line, I noticed that they have a new Moss Hart stamp. When I got to the teller – who either had to pee or was on some stimulant, because he could not stand still (think: Rodney Dangerfield on speed) – I asked if I could buy a single such stamp, and he told me that one has to buy them in sheets because the sheets cannot be broken. "Okay," I say, "How much are the sheets?"
"7.40"
Figuring I could always use stamps, I said, "Okay, I'll take one of those, too."
"Who is Moss Hart?"
"He was a playwrite."
"Okay. That's what I thought. You're the first person to ask for only one of his stamps so I figured you'd know."
This is what I get for asking an extra question. I thought to myself, "Self, I could get one of those stamps, and stick it inside my copy of 'You Can't Take It With You'." I didn't realize it'd send Hoppy McCantnotmove into a spasm. Seriously, yes or no would have sufficed.
Anyway, he walked over to the wee stamp drawer where they're all kept, and came back holding a single Moss Hart stamp. Someone, it seems, has been breaking the sheets. This made Holy McGodIgottapee unhappy, but it suited me just fine.
Now I see they have a César Chávez stamp. I wonder if I could buy just one....