Made a Call to Walk and Call

Yesterday was two weeks.

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I worked. It was hard. I only had two lessons, and I made it through. Both people were interesting, both were nice. That helped. But it was hard.

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After work, I washed some clothes, and, later, walked to pick up the second card I’ve received. From my dad’s oldest brother (well, actually from his wife, my aunt…). It included a nice note, was appreciated and unexpected.

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Last night was brutal. Saturday and Sunday had periods of lightness that caused an erroneous sense of things being a little easier. There are always snap-backs, reversions, corrections so overconfidence doesn’t set in. Last night one came.

I was waiting for the Astros game to start a couple hours later – 2:05am Tokyo time. And started to think. I finished a bit of work then got to the point where I was either going to take a walk and be sad, or lay down and cry so hard I’d die.

I quickly gathered my shit and my umbrella and walked. In total, about 9km. After I settled into a rhythm, I sent my sister a message. It was midday her time, so she was up. I asked if she wanted to chat, and we did for… I just checked… three second shy of 48 minutes. I would’ve thought it was longer.

The chat helped. And so did the walk.

I got back home and started the Astros game (#3 in the ALDS against the Rays) in time to see them give up a disappointing number of runs, before finally taking a 4:30 am shower. I fell asleep around 6:30.

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I think in an attempt for it to give itself breaks, my brain (but probably everyone’s) will become momentarily distracted mid-pain. What’s the word I’m looking for? What was that lady’s name? Who was with us when we went there? What time to do I work tomorrow? Will it rain again?

This happened once last night, and was the point I decided I had to walk. My brain said what the hell is today’s date. It was after midnight by this point. It was today. October 8th.

My dad’s 73rd birthday.

The tears came fast and hard and they came armed and looking blood.

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It’s been two weeks, nearly 15 days. Today’s his birthday. I love him. I miss him.

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Happy birthday, Dad.

終